Assertive, dominating men, often referred to as alpha males, are widespread. Alternative male groups advocate a different approach to masculinity.
Rewritten Article:
Hank Thompson had been feeling hollow for quite some time.
Living his mid-40s, married with two kids, he was known as an outgoing guy. He socially interacted with plenty of people, yet something was missing. Community connections that delved deeper than discussing sports or romantic pursuits eluded him. He yearned for genuine friendships.
In 2018, Thompson stumbled upon a Meetup group he assumed was a book club. To his surprise, it was something far cry from his expectations: The ManKind Project (MKP), an organization offering intensive retreats and support groups to help men improve their relationships with themselves and others.
Intrigued, Thompson decided to join one of their men's circles – structured spaces for men to gather regularly and share their thoughts. At his first gathering, he found the camaraderie and emotional support he had been craving.
"I could sit there with a group of men, stumble through whatever thoughts were whirling in my head, and they held space for me," Thompson says. "There was no judgment, just questions and understanding."
Men struggling to form deep friendships
Thompson's quest for meaningful relationships highlights a growing issue among men. As loneliness increases, men have a particularly hard time forming deep friendships – a trend that experts view seriously. Socially isolated men burden their wives and girlfriends with extra work, fall victim to online misogyny, and face heightened risks of depression, suicide, and domestic violence.
At a time when some men find refuge in harmful parts of the "manosphere," men's circles offer a healthier alternative.
By fostering an environment of genuine connection and self-improvement, MKP is challenging outdated notions about masculinity.
Men's circles transforming lives
Thompson, now ManKind Project USA's co-chair for intercultural competence and belonging, has built a tight-knit group of friends through MKP. This network has taught him valuable skills about himself, such as speaking up when unsure at work, allowing himself to cry in front of his children, and practicing self-awareness.
Men's circles follow a standard structure, with trained facilitators guiding the meetings. Attendees introduce themselves and share how they're feeling before diving into discussions about their personal lives. They take turns actively listening to each other and offering constructive feedback. The meetings conclude with takeaways and expressions of gratitude.
Pasco Ashton, co-founder and executive director of the UK-based organization Men's Circle, believes these gatherings help men strengthen their social skills and relationships with other men.
"Men haven't learned the same social cues as women, like how to initiate a conversation or connect emotionally," he says. "These circles teach essential social skills and emotional intelligence."
Modifying traditional views of masculinity
In 2020, Ashton formed his own men's circle after losing two friends to suicide and feeling unfulfilled with most of his guy friends. That initial gathering matured into a UK-wide organization with participants across Europe and the US. Men's Circle also offers workshops, retreats, and more casual events to provide extra avenues for connection.
Attendees at Men's Circle reported significant improvements in their lives, including mutual support, new perspectives, and enhanced emotional wellbeing.
While many men join the circles seeking a solution to their isolation, they find much more in these peer-led support groups: an alternate, more positive model of masculinity. Men's circles aren't perfect, as they can reinforce outdated gender norms. Regardless, they offer a safe space for men to express their emotions and build meaningful relationships with others.
As men continue to evolve and challenge traditional views of masculinity, men's circles and similar platforms offer an essential stepping stone in redefining what it means to be a man and forming deep, meaningful connections.
- Hank Thompson's journey to seek genuine friendships mirrors a broader struggle among men, as many find it challenging to form deep connections.
- The ManKind Project (MKP) provides an alternative space for men, offering intensive retreats and support groups that challenge outdated notions about masculinity.
- Thompson, now a co-chair for MKP, has found personal growth in the organization, learning to speak up at work, express emotions to his children, and practice self-awareness.
- Men's circles, following a standard structure, promote emotional wellbeing, social skills, and genuine connection among participants, helping them strengthen relationships with other men.
- Models of masculinity are evolving, and men's circles offer crucial opportunities for men to express emotions, build meaningful relationships, and find a more positive model of masculinity that focuses on self-improvement, mental health, and personal growth.
