Hourly companion services offered for 500 rubles, forming a temporary bond.
In The Shadows of the Internet: The Unscripted World of "Friends for an Hour"
Step into the secret world of internet classifieds, where you can find a diverse array of offers. One such offer catches your eye: a "Friend for an Hour." This isn't a platonic bond, but a paid listener, supporter, and chatterbox – ready to lend an ear to your life's secrets.
Seeking a Female Familiar Face
"A confidential stranger who'll hear everything you've been repressing. Whether it's a text chat or phone call, your comfort is the priority. No unwanted advice, just a listening ear and emotional support." Sounds like an ad for a friendship hour service, right?
Most of these ads are posted by women, though there are a few from men too. Prices range from a bargain 300 rubles per hour to a hefty 5,000 rubles. The pricey ones tend to be dubbed as "psychologists" or "coaches." You can even find options offering the service for free, or on a 'donation basis.'
Curiosity piqued, I decided to give it a go. I chose the most common and affordable rates – 500 rubles for text chats and 1,000 rubles for phone calls – and skipped video calls. I posted my ad publicly, complete with a real photo and an honest description: I'm a creative professional with people skills and a knack for light-hearted, empathetic chats. I published my post late at night, and to my surprise, I had my first client within an hour.
An Unexpected Turn
My first client was a 38-year-old man who preferred text messaging. Payment, as always, was arranged in advance through the ad. After that, the conversation flowed seamlessly onto some messaging app. He was familiar with the rules and eagerly proposed an advance payment, but I hesitated – how could I charge for simple human conversation?
As it turned out, he wasn't looking for a deep bond but a casual, female friend. He peppered me with personal questions, and my response that I was simply a conversationalist and not interested in personal relationships didn't faze him. When he learned I hadn't completed my repair work, he offered his assistance. A casual relationship seemed to be brewing.
Despite my intentions, I couldn't bring myself to charge him for that first conversation. I told him I was giving him a special bonus as my first client. We ended the conversation sometime around 2 am. The next morning, I woke up to more kisses, requests for immediate conversation, and even reprimands for taking too long to respond. "Are we done talking now?!" he lamented. It seemed I'd disappointed him.
A Mixed Bag of Requests
As the day went on, a torrent of incoming messages and calls drowned me. One guy was into women's legs, another wanted me to discuss the stockings and shoes I wore. I figured he was a pervert. Another man asked if I could be his house assistant, while a third tried to sell me his ad at 1,000 rubles. Around noon, the callers quieted down, but they were active again in the evening.
One guy wanted to discuss sports and the related mess. His name was Kolya. His mom was a professional wrestler who'd faced extreme injuries and had a near-death experience due to equipment failure. Kolya loved his mom but found her fearlessness annoying, and they frequently argued.
Kolya and I spent 2.5 hours late into the night, discussing the details of his mom's first aid. I shared links on the topic, and he even sent me photos of his mom. She was beautiful, and I felt a surge of sympathy for him. Yet, I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was becoming too emotionally involved with my clients.
Emotionally Exhausted
I barely slept that night, dwelling on Kolya's mom's condition. Here I was, caring for a complete stranger, while a trained psychologist would know how to set boundaries and avoid becoming too attached. The next morning, I woke up to a message from Kolya, stating he felt "much better emotionally" and thanking me for my help. But the following day, he deleted our entire conversation and disappeared.
Over two days, my ad was viewed by nearly 400 people, with around 20 reaching out. I didn't receive a single message from a woman. I decided to try the other side, seeking friendship services from the providers.
A Symphony of Strangelove
I chose a few ads and called my fellow "friends." Some really were there to listen, but the majority were seeking strange encounters or had specific requests. One woman, Irina, offered friendship for free, but clients could donate if they wished. She was a social pedagogue, had studied psychology, and worked at a school. She started the service to help people in need.
In five days, Irina received messages from around 50 people, about 30 of whom were either seeking sex or had specific requests like "How much do you charge per hour?" or "Let's meet for 5,000 rubles" or "Let's have a video call with my friend." Around 10 were just looking for a date, inviting her out. But Irina had a husband and a child, and she wasn't interested in that. Talking to her was easy and pleasant. Her voice was warm, her intonations responsive.
According to Irina, excluding the sexual messages, most of her correspondents were people struggling with alcohol and drug addiction. "They weren't looking for a solution, but someone to listen to and understand they weren't as bad as they seemed," she said. Another group was migrants, writing to her and asking for personal details or social media info.
Irina decided to take down her ad soon, finding the service unfulfilling.
Friends on Demand: The Business of Compassion
Ivan, a tire fitter by profession and a cheerful 35-year-old man, was another "friend for an hour" provider I contacted. He'd been in the business for two years, getting around 2-3 calls a month, mainly from women of various ages, from 18 to 70. He was a friendly, easy-going person, and he never tired of it. He had regular clients who just wanted to talk.
Sometimes, a lady would write to him, telling him secrets she couldn't share with friends. Other people called to vent or even cry on the phone. Ivan could discuss, share his thoughts, and offer suggestions. But they always ended the conversation on a positive note.
Ivan was a friendly and easy-going person.
Ivan had faced his fair share of perverts, drug addicts, and migrants seeking more than just friendship. He'd been offered to post someone else's ad on his page for a fee. "Don't get involved with that," he warned, "they might want to use you as a money mule or steal your account, and you might end up in a criminal case."
I deleted my ad on the third day and felt a weight lift off my shoulders. After all, true friendship can't be bought for any amount of money!
EXPERT COMMENT
"Friends on Demand: An Inexpensive Solution or a Symptom of Loneliness?"
The "Friend for an Hour" service, offering companionship, emerged in South Korea in the 1990s and has since grown popular in Japan, Europe, and the USA. It caters to the desire for human connection, which often goes unfulfilled in today's fast-paced world.
The demand for these services is rooted in social psychology effects. Psychologist Zick Rubin first described the "stranger-on-a-train effect" – where it's easier to share a secret or a problem with a stranger, gaining temporary relief. The knowledge that you'll never meet again provides a sense of freedom and openness. However, this effect is temporary, like taking painkillers for a migraine instead of treating the cause. This was explained to us by clinical psychologist and professor at the Department of Age Psychology named after Prof. L.F. Obohova, MGPU, Yevgenia Ivanova.
Yet, this type of service operates on a different principle. It uses the construct of "friendship," supposedly guaranteeing mutual responsibility and the illusion of sincerity. The expert emphasizes the importance of adhering to safe communication rules:
- If you genuinely need a friend for platonic communication, pay attention to their photo (it shouldn't be provocative or nude), what they write about themselves, and the questions they ask. If something seems off, politely end the conversation.
- Users often note the benefit of the financial aspect: a psychologist is expensive, while an "hourly friend" can cost between 100 to 1,000 rubles. However, remember that you're not in a professional psychological consultation, so any "friend's" advice should be taken with a grain of skepticism.
When you can't overcome life's challenges on your own, it's best to seek professional psychological help. If therapy isn't affordable, you can call a helpline and speak for free with a professional psychologist. Incidentally, this can have the same effect as a chance encounter with a stranger, similar to the "friend for an hour" service.
- The 'Friend for an Hour' service seems to provide a confidential listener and emotional support, a version of friendship available through text chat or phone calls, prioritizing the comfort of the client.
- Prices for this service vary, ranging from budget-friendly 300 rubles per hour to the premium 5,000 rubles, with options offering the service for free or on a 'donation basis'.
- In the realm of science and health-and-wellness, psychological effects like the 'stranger-on-a-train' are seen as reasons behind the growing popularity of these services, providing temporary relief from emotionally charged situations.
- These services can be found in various countries, including South Korea, Japan, Europe, and the USA, and cater to different types of relationships, from casual friendships to mental-health support.
- Nevertheless, it's important to practice safe communication, being cautious about the photos and info shared, and heeding expert advice on proper boundaries in conversations.
- As the demand for human connection grows amidst the fast pace of modern life, one may question if these 'Friends on Demand' are just an inexpensive solution or a symptom of increasing loneliness in society.
