Chatting with Your Old Man: Questions to Spark a Deeper Connection
Inquiries to Posse Regarding Child-Related Matters
Sure, you know your pa, right? You might ask him about his day, his health, or even the weather, but there's a lot more to dig into. According to Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, founder of End Well, chatting about anything other than health or the mundane stuff can be psychologically empowering. And it's not just for the old folks, it's beneficial for the kiddos too.
The idea is simple: ask open-ended questions and you'll get to know your parents better. It can help create emotional closeness and preserve memories. This is especially important when parents are growing older or facing health issues, says Dr. Ungerleider. "The stories of our parents can help us understand ourselves better."
Inspiration and Fresh Insights
So, what kind of questions should you ask? How about, "What are you excited about these days that I don't know about?" By asking questions like these, you encourage your parents to share something new, making it easier to dive into deeper conversations.
"There are often no opportunities for deeper conversations in daily life," says Dr. Ungerleider, "and eventually, it's too late." She advises setting aside some time specifically for these conversations.
Panorama
What about those painful moments? You might need to pick the right time for such a sensitive topic. But according to Dr. Ungerleider, learning about your parent's most formative experiences can be inspiring. "You can really learn something when you see how someone has dealt with an obstacle or adversity and how they overcame it," she says.
What do you want people to remember about you? It's not something most folks think about, finds Dr. Ugerleider. It might feel like you're bringing up a sad subject early on, but it's better than regretting not doing it later.
Let's Get Started
So, where do you start asking these questions? Psychologist Jenny Shields from Houston suggests starting with something simple yet new, like, "Is there something that interests you or is on your mind that I don't know about?" Such questions can open the door to deeper conversations.
"It's not just about collecting stories," explains Dr. Ungerleider, "it's about connection - and about valuing someone while they're still able to feel and experience it."
(Inspired by ntv.de, sba/dpa)
- Fatherly Natter
- Maternal Musings
- Child's Play
Enrichment Data:Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, an internal medicine physician and founder of End Well, emphasizes the importance of asking parents meaningful questions to foster emotional closeness and preserve memories before it's too late. She notes that many patients regret not having asked their parents more questions while they still had the chance, highlighting that such conversations are not only about collecting stories but also about creating connections and honoring loved ones in the present[1][2].
Some suggested open questions to ask parents include:
- "What’s something you’re currently passionate about that I might not know?" This question can gently open the door to deeper conversations by encouraging parents to share new interests or hobbies, helping break routine and making it easier to engage in more profound discussions later[1].
The broader goal with questions like these is to encourage parents to share their experiences and feelings, creating memorable moments and strengthening family bonds. Ungerleider’s approach is to use accessible, thoughtful prompts to initiate conversations that might otherwise not happen until it is too late[1][2].
- Engaging in discussions about science, health-and-wellness, mental-health, or lifestyle with your parents can foster emotional closeness and preserve memories, making it beneficial for both the parents and children.
- Asking your parents open-ended questions such as, "Is there something that interests you or is on your mind that I don't know about?" can open the door to deeper conversations and enable you to learn more about their passions and experiences.
- Pondering and asking about the aspects of your parents' lives they want people to remember, such as, "What do you want people to remember about you?", can inspire you and enrich family relationships by helping you understand your parents better.
