Mourning the Departure of a Mom: Strategies for Daughters to Cope Effectively
Losing a mother is a profound and life-altering event that can lead to a variety of psychological and health consequences in women. According to numerous studies, common outcomes include depression, anxiety, complicated grief, increased stress levels, and physical health problems such as weakened immune functioning and an increased risk for chronic illnesses. These outcomes often stem from the intense emotional distress and adjustment challenges associated with losing a primary attachment figure.
One study has linked parental loss to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure. Another study found that women have a more intense grief response and more difficulty adjusting to the loss of a mother compared to men. Women who experience the loss of a mother are also more likely to binge drink, have a greater decline in self-esteem, and have a lower level of personal mastery (personal growth).
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) lists regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness as normal emotions in the year following parental loss. However, grief that impairs your daily functioning, or persists for longer than a year, may require the support of a mental health professional.
The American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can help find a professional specializing in grief recovery. Local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can provide assistance during this difficult time. Offering your own maternal support to others who have experienced parental loss can also be a meaningful way to help others on their journey with grief.
Focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can provide comfort during the grieving process. You may also feel regret for lost family traditions and cultural knowledge after losing your mother. Mindfulness, the ability to focus on the moment and not follow thoughts down an emotional path, can help manage painful memories related to the loss of a mother.
Remember, the effects of grief after the loss of a mother are different for everyone. Honoring your mother's memory can take various forms, like donating to her favourite charity or achieving a goal she always wanted. Books like 'Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual', 'Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss', and 'How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults' may provide guidance during the grieving process.
Lastly, it's important to remember that help is available if you're feeling overwhelmed by your grief. If your grief is becoming unbearable and you're considering self-harm or suicide, help is available right now through the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, or Befrienders Worldwide. Losing your mother can mean losing an important part of your support system, but there are resources available to help you through this difficult time.
