Obstacles That Obstruct Contentment and Joyfulness
In the realm of psychology, a key debate revolves around the complexities of happiness and the traps that often ensnare us in our pursuit of it. US psychologist Steven C. Hayes, co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and a foundation professor at the University of Nevada in Reno, delves into this topic in a piece for "Psychology Today".
According to Hayes, the main "traps" in pursuing happiness are experiential avoidance (EA Type 1) — trying to suppress or avoid negative emotions — and experiential attachment (EA Type 2) — clinging too tightly to positive emotions like joy. Both traps result in frustration and misery because emotions are naturally transient and meant to guide us rather than be permanently possessed or avoided.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one avoids these traps by practicing acceptance — making space for both pleasant and unpleasant emotions without trying to push them away or hold onto them. This approach encourages psychological flexibility: acknowledging emotions as they come and go, and committing to meaningful actions aligned with one’s values regardless of emotional states. Pursuing joy through value-driven behaviors instead of demanding constant positive feelings helps prevent the common pitfalls.
Trap 1 (EA Type 1) involves avoiding or suppressing negative feelings, which backfires and intensifies distress. Constantly trying to avoid or suppress negative emotions can exacerbate fears and negatively impact our well-being and health. If we expect or demand that life always be perfect, we lose sight of the actual purpose of emotions, which should guide us in the present, says Hayes.
Trap 2 (EA Type 2) is the tendency to cling to positive feelings as if they must never fade, which causes misery when joy inevitably wanes. Suppressing feelings like sadness, fear, or insecurity is counterproductive and may unintentionally strengthen negative emotions. If one is not ready to lose a positive emotion, they have already lost it, according to Hayes. Comparing suppression of negative emotions to keeping a water balloon underwater, Hayes suggests that these feelings will pop back up with force.
Emotions are like warning lights on a dashboard, indicating what's happening. If they were always on, they'd quickly lose their meaning, according to Hayes. True happiness comes from perceiving, enjoying, and letting go of things, not from demanding consistency.
Hayes offers practical advice: do something loving to feel more love, create something beautiful to see more beauty, and to seek, enjoy, and let go of happy moments. He suggests asking oneself: "What's a small thing I can do to bring more happiness into my life?" Positivity Prioritizing, consciously seeking positive experiences, can be a "happiness booster" for some, but others may fall into the "clinging trap".
In summary, the key to navigating the complexities of happiness lies in accepting all emotions as transient, letting go of rigid attachment or avoidance, and taking committed action based on personal values. By doing so, we can foster psychological flexibility and find true happiness in the ebb and flow of life's emotions.
Science reveals that seeking constant positive emotions, as opposed to pursuing joy through value-driven behaviors, can lead to mental health issues such as health-and-wellness problems and mental-health traps. For instance, experiential avoidance (EA Type 1) and experiential attachment (EA Type 2) are therapies-and-treatments pitfalls that may hinder one's path to genuine happiness, as they can force an individual to waste energy on suppressing or clinging to feelings, instead of cultivating psychological flexibility.
